church, my eyes fell on the
man dressed in purple in the back, a man I later found out to be
our Bishop. I was intrigued by his funny hat and the fact that he
was carrying a stick, but I was captivated by his smile. It was
a smile of both true joy and love. I was not sure what he did; but
I could tell he loved what he did and whom he did it for. This sparked
my interest. As a result off and on for the next few years I would
dress up in my dad's bathrobe, and play priest. I would tell my
parents about Jesus by looking at the pictures in my Bible and remembering
what they had read to me, because I could not yet read. Next I would
give them a piece of bread and some grape juice, before my attempt
at a blessing. In my little mind that is what a priest did; he told
people about Jesus, gave them bread (which I knew later to be the
body and blood of Jesus) and blessed them.
But as I grew I can't really say that I ever gave much thought to
the idea of becoming a priest despite relatives or my pastor asking
if I had. My plan was to be on the starting line up for the Boston
Red Sox…that is until I realized that I was not that good
of a player, and figured I would settle with being a lawyer. Either
way I was going to get married and have kids. This is what my mom,
dad and the rest of our family did; why should I be any different?
But my life started to take
a different direction the summer after sixth grade. My little league
team went undefeated that year and we were in the city championship
game. The game was all tied up in extra innings and I was up to
bat. All I wanted to do was hit the game wining home run. I steeped
in the batter's box, planted my feet, and with bat on my shoulder
I was ready to go. The first pitch came and I swung as fast as I
could … but instead of getting that home run, my leg buckled
and I got a sprained ankle. When doctors x-rayed it they found a
tumor, which had eaten away my anklebone. They tested it and found
that it was not cancer but that it needed to be removed. This meant
that they also had to take most of my hipbone to rebuild my ankle.
After surgery, I could not go
to school, I could not play sports, and I cold not do anything.
I had a lot of time on my hands, and nothing to do, so I talked
to God. The more I talked to Him the more it did not seem like the
only thing I could do, but something that I wanted to do…
that I needed to do. The more I did it the more God taught me how
to pray. And by prayer I do not mean just talking to God, but more
importantly listening to Him and responding to His grace.
In no longer was He an abstract God that I worshiped on Sunday or
a concept that I studied in CCD, but a close and personal father…
a friend who died for me… and a life giving Spirit. I prayed
more and studied about our faith. Through both prayer and study
I began to fall in love with both Christ and His Church. Most importantly
I grew to understand the Mass in a deeper way, and came to a greater
appreciation for the sacrament of reconciliation in my life. It
was in these sacraments that I began to see Jesus really and truly
present as well as the special role the priest plays in making that
possible. As I prayed and availed myself to the grace of these sacraments
more frequently I began to feel that God might be calling me to
serve Him and His people as a priest.
Following several years of discernment after this initial feeling
of being called, I applied to be accepted as a seminarian my senior
year of high school. That is how I came to be a seminarian at Our
Lady of Providence Seminary, a setting in which I continue to discern
God's will for me while preparing spiritually, academically, humanly,
and pastorally for possible service to God's people someday as a
priest, God willing. Although some days can be more challenging
then others, I have found each day a blessing. I feel that God is
calling me to be a Catholic priest. Coming to the Seminary to further
discern this with the Church and reaming open to her formation has
given me a deep peace and filled me with great joy. This peace and
joy is my wish for you in your vocational discernment; whatever
God may be calling you to.
If you have never thought that God might be calling you to follow
Him as a priest or religious, I invite you to consider the possibility,
and pray about it. If you have heard Christ calling you to follow
after Him as a priest talk to your pastor and the diocesan vocation
director, they both can be of great help. I ask your prayers for
my self, my brother seminarians, and others that have responded
to God's call that we may with God's blessings as we continue in
our discernment. Lastly please pray that God may continue to bless
the Diocese of Springfield and the whole church with an abundance
of vocations.