until I was about 19 years
of age. One of the priests at the parish where my family and I were
attending Mass said to me one day that he thought that I might have
a vocation to the priesthood. I thought that he was joking. I really
wanted to get married, have a big family and live in a white house
with a picket fence. Therefore, I dismissed the idea of a vocation
to the priesthood at once.
I eventually graduated from high school and went off to college.
During the early years of college, issues regarding morality keep
either becoming mentioned in class or on the campus in general.
I knew in my heart that I wanted to live a virtuous and moral life
and make wise choices. However, I did not see such a strong connection
between living a virtuous life and God.
I wanted to be virtuous more for the sake of being virtuous. At
this time I was not fallen away but more lukewarm in my Catholic
faith.
I can remember making a decision one day that I wanted to start
attending Mass on a regular basis again. I also felt a need to go
to confession for the first time in two years. This entire process
starting taking place around the time of September 11, 2001. It
was at this particular time when I thought to myself that maybe
God is calling me to be a priest. I wanted to be happy and virtuous
but nothing seemed to be filling the void that I was experiencing
in my life. I started to pray more and asked God what He wanted
me to do with my life. One evening after a moment of deep prayer,
I asked God if He wanted me to be a priest and if the answer was
yes that I would be one out of love for Him. At that very moment
I experienced such a peace and joy that the world simply cannot
give. I knew that I had to pursue further discernment to the priesthood.
I have been discerning priesthood ever since and there have been
many challenges and hardships for me along the journey of discernment.
However, these years have been the
most fulfilling and joyful years of my life. In particular, strong
devotions to the our Lord Jesus Christ in the Most Holy Eucharist
and to the Blessed Virgin Mary have truly helped me to persevere
in pursuing the priestly vocation.
Eventually, after many years
of prayer and discernment, I decided to apply to the seminary and
I have just begun my first year as a pre-theologian at St‘
John‘s Seminary. We must always be open to the inspirations
of the Holy Spirit along our journey of faith. This is the most
exciting and fulfilling adventure that I have yet to undertake in
my life. May I always be open to the will of God.
What is my present attitude toward my studies?
Excitement. Vocational doubts? None. Internal satisfaction and peace?
Intense. Eagerness to share God and His Church with others? Unfading.
Willingness to do it all over again? Total.